The Art of Unlearning and Relearning

Relearning the Art of Being: How Self-Discovery Mirrors Creative Expression

Have you ever tried to relearn how to write?

Not just improve your handwriting, but completely reimagine how you shape letters on a page. Like, the letter “A”, for instance. If you have, then you know it’s not just about the mechanics of holding a pen differently. It’s about unlearning muscle memory, questioning what you thought you knew, and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable while you find comfort in something new.

Relearning who you are and how you are designed to be is super similar to relearning how to write the letter “A”. Both are about disentangling and re-envisioning, requiring you to break free from conditioned patterns, trust an emerging process, and embrace the creative tension between the old and the new.

Unlearning: Shedding the Script

When we first learned to write, we didn’t question the process. We used that Primary Lined Paper (you know, the one that looks like a street with the dotted lines in the middle), followed the lines, shaped our letters as instructed, and rarely stopped to consider why we formed them the way we did – the way the teacher or our parents told us to. 

Well, identity works the same way. When we are born, and for several years after, we inherit the beliefs, expectations, and behaviors of our upbringing, culture, and lived experiences. We internalize a sense of self that may not be truly ours. 

Going back to the letter “A” metaphor for a second: it didn’t take long for me to notice how my cursive “A” looked the same as my peers' but different than my dad’s. So, I changed it because…IDK…it was different. I liked being different. And while there wasn’t anything particularly special about the way I curved my “A” compared to his, it still stuck.

To reframe your identity, as in writing, you must first become aware of the script you’ve been following. What narratives about yourself have you taken as truth? What roles have you been playing because they were expected, not because they were chosen? 

Just as a writer may need to unlearn rigid grammatical rules to embrace a more fluid, expressive style, we, too, must unlearn limiting beliefs to step into our authentic selves.

Trusting the Emerging Voice

When relearning how to write, letters may feel unnatural at first. You’re kinda hesitant, and it feels kinda awkward because it’s so unfamiliar. You’re moving slowly and being very deliberate. 

The same happens when you begin to step into who you are designed to be. That space can feel awkward – maybe even paralyzing – where your old self no longer fits, but your new or renewed self hasn’t fully emerged. 

But just as continuous practice forms fluid handwriting over time, stepping into who and how you are designed to be through consistent self-inquiry and reflection begins to align your choices and reinforce your evolving identity.

In coaching, this is where I encourage self-inquiry, exploration, and trust. For example, in Human Design, I have a Splenic Authority, which means my intuitive hits come to me like a Spring lamb (not a lion) – quiet but also quick and instinctual. And since I’ve been conditioned to make decisions from my head/mind, learning to trust my immediate Knowing has felt like having to relearn cursive handwriting. Cognitively and psychologically, I know it. But experiencing it somatically (in the body) has taken some time. It’s unfamiliar but deeply true. 

The more you practice allowing the voice of your Authority to be “heard,” the more natural it becomes and the more aligned you feel.

Embracing Discomfort as a Creative Threshold

Sometimes, creativity is about stepping into the unknown, allowing yourself to be a beginner again, and accepting “so-called” imperfection as part of the process. The same is true for self-reinvention.

Many women in midlife feel the tension of wanting more clarity, alignment, and self-trust, but they fear stepping away from what they know. 

As a coach, I see this as a pivotal moment. Your willingness to sit with discomfort means transformation is already happening. Just as a writer refines her craft through revision, erasure, and rewriting, you reframe your identity through lived and learned experiences, deconditioning, reflection, and conscious choice.

Reframing Your Identity: Practical Steps

Reframing your identity is not about becoming someone new. It’s about rediscovering who you were before conditioning and programming had a chance to take over.

So how might someone go about it? For starters:

• Question Your Old Story – Identify the beliefs you’ve carried about yourself. Which ones no longer serve you? Which feel imposed rather than chosen?

• Reclaim Your Core Values – What matters most to you at this stage in your life? What principles, passions, and priorities feel most aligned? Are they yours or borrowed?

• Recognize Your Strengths and Patterns – Reflect on moments when you felt most alive, capable, and in a flow state. What qualities were you embodying? How can you experience more of that?

• Rehearse a New Narrative – Start speaking about yourself in a way that reflects your evolving identity. Shift from “I’ve always been the kind of person who…” to “I AM becoming the kind of person who…” (Side note: I like the progression of “becoming”. I’m not big on speaking in absolutes, as if things have already happened because, for many women early in their self-(re)discovery, it can feel forced or fake.) 

• Take Embodied Action – Align your daily choices with your reframed identity. This could mean setting boundaries, exploring new creative outlets, or making decisions based on intuition rather than external validation. But most especially, following your Strategy and Authority every day!

You Are the Author of Your Becoming

At the heart of both self-discovery and creative expression is this truth:

Who you are is not a fixed entity; you are a work in progress.

Always learning, growing, and evolving. 

Whether you are relearning how to write the alphabet letter by letter or rediscovering who and how you are, the process is one of regaining, reclaiming, and reframing.

Your identity is not something set in stone. It is something you get to craft, shape, and rewrite as you evolve. The key is giving yourself permission to do so.

So, if you are standing at the edge of a transition, feeling both the exhilaration and discomfort of change, know this: you’re already becoming. 

Pick up the pen. 

Trust the process. 

The next chapter is yours to write.

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Full transparency...

I am an AC accredited and certified Human Potential and Empowerment Coach, running a 10-week journal-based coaching program called The REFRAME. 

At the core of my coaching approach is the belief that owning the power to know yourself is the key to changing your life. In The REFRAME program, you’re given the keys and a map to address four key elements:

• Regain Authenticity – Stripping away old conditioning to rediscover who you were before society’s conditioning told you who to be.

• Trust Your Authority – Learning to listen to your inner voice rather than your mind and external expectations. Knowing your choices reflects your truth.

• Claim Your Autonomy – Learning to make decisions that reflect your values, not someone else’s; own your choices, and live by them on your own terms.

• Exercise Your Agency – Learning to take decisive action in shaping your life, knowing you hold the power.

When you engage in this process, you are quite literally rewriting and reframing your story – not with fancy words or wishful thinking but with intentional choices.

If you want to consciously redefine how you see and understand yourself outside of external expectations & conditioning. Uncover the patterns, beliefs, and hidden strengths that shape how you move through the world and create a shift in your perspective so you can rewrite your narrative…

I invite you to check out my site (sevecycle.COACH) to learn more about the program and schedule a FREE Reality Reframing Strategy Session.